How To Create Your Own Homepage   1. Download an HTML editor. (20 minutes) 2. Think about what you want to say on your homepage. (6 weeks) 3. Download the same HTML editor because they will have released three new versions of it since the first time you downloaded it. (25 minutes... Note that this time the download time is longer because the file size will have grown even though the program doesn't really do anything more.) 4. Decide to just steal some images and graphics to put on your site. (1 minute) 5. Visit some random sites to find these images and graphics, and find five of them that you like. (2 days) 6. Run the setup program of your HTML editor. After it fails, download the program again. (30 minutes) 7. Run the setup program again, load the software, and click on all the toolbar buttons to see what they do. (30 minutes) 8. View the source code from the pages of others, steal some, change a few words here and there. (1 day) 9. Preview your homepage using the HTML editor. (1 minute) 10. Try to horizontally line up two simple, related images. (6 hours) 11. Decide that you don't need one of the above images anyway and remove one of them. (5 seconds) 12. Set the text's font color to the same color as your background, and wonder why all of your text is gone. (2 hours) 13. Put four blank lines between two lines of text. (8 hours) 14. Fine-tune the text, then prepare to upload your homepage to your ISP. (40 minutes) 15. Accidentally delete your homepage. (1 second) 16. Recreate your homepage. (2 days) 17. Try to figure out how to upload your homepage onto your ISP's server. (3 days) 18. Download the needed FTP software. (10 minutes) 19. Figure out how to use this FTP software. (4 hours) 20. Call a patient friend to find out about FTP. (30 minutes) 21. Attempt to figure out his instructions. (3 hours) 22. Call your friend (not so patient, now) again. (5 minutes) 23. Upload your homepage to your ISP's server. (5 minutes) 24. Connect to your site on the web. (1 minute) 25. Try to figure out why your homepage looks different on-line than how it did within the HTML editor. (6 hours) 26. Now that you've seen it on-line, adjust the size of the text, and re-position each of the graphic images. (2 hours) 27. Download a counter from your ISP. (4 minutes) 28. Try to figure out why your counter reads "You are visitor number -17.8 E10." (3 hours) 29. Try to get the sourcecode just right for the stupid counter. (4 hours) 30. Upload your new page and counter. (2 minutes) 31. See the stupid broken graphic where your counter should be. (3 days) 32. Dump the counter and put up of those cute fake ones on your page instead. (5 minutes) 33. Two weeks after completing your page, find three glaring spelling errors. (20 seconds)