Questions to Ponder

If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
Is there another word for synonym?
What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word lisp to have an "s" in it?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work?
If convenience stores are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn on your headlights, what happens?
Why are there flotation devices under airline seats instead of parachutes?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
Why is it that when you transport something by car it's called a shipment, but when you transport it by ship, it's called cargo?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why don't sheep shrink in the rain?
What does Geronimo scream when he jumps out of a plane?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
If God sneezed, what would you say to him?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why are there five syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
Isn't is a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why is the word "abbreviation" so long?
Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
Do fish get cramps after eating?
When two airplanes almost collide, why do they call it a near miss and not a near hit?
If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off?
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
Why do they put Braille on the number pads of drive-through bank machines?
If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?
When a cow laughs does milk come up its nose?
How did a fool and his money get together in the first place?
If nothing sticks to Teflon, how does Teflon stick to the pan?
How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
What's another word for thesaurus?
Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
What do they use to ship Styrofoam?
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?
Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Does 'virgin wool' come from sheep the shepherd hasn't caught yet?
When you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?
Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
Who is General Failure, and why is he reading my hard disk?
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ... Coincidence?
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
In synchronized swimming, if the first drowns, do the rest follow?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
Shouldn't a man who invests all your money be called something other than a broker?
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
If 21 is pronounced twenty-one why isn't 11 pronounced onety-one?
If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?"
If I play a blank tape with the volume turned up, will the mime next door go nuts?
Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting out of the water?
Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?
Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?
Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
If all is not lost, where is it?
Why are there handicap parking places in front of skating rinks?
Why do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions?
Why do you often see people ordering double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke?
Why is it that we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and yet leave useless junk in the garage?
When you're finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else decide to play chess?
What would the speed of lightning be if it didn't zigzag?
Instead of putting pictures of criminals in the post office, why aren't they put on stamps so postman could look for them while they deliver the mail?
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Why do we say something is out of whack? What's in whack?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
Why do "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
Why do 'tug' boats push their barges?
At ball games, why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we're already there?
Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?
Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
When blondes have more fun, do they know it?
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead."?
If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
How much deeper would the ocean be if all the sponges didn't live there?
Why does the sun darken our skin but lighten our hair?
Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
Why is it that when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open it's not adoor?
Why does an alarm clock go "off" when it actually goes "on?"
Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?
Why does mineral water, that has trickled down the mountains for centuries, go out of date next year?
Why are softballs so hard?
Is it possible to get insurance on insurance? And if so, can you get insurance on that insurance?
Who do you save when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
Do you think the guy who coined the term "one hit wonder" ever came up with any other popular phrases?
If poison is past its expiration date, is it more or less poisonous?
Which letter is silent in the word "scent," the S or the C?
Do twins ever realize that one of them was unplanned?
Why is the letter W called a double U? Shouldn't it be called a double V?
How do we know that oxygen isn't slowly killing us, and just takes 75-100 years to work?
Why is that jail and prison are synonyms, but jailer and prisoner are antonyms?
How come your fingers have fingertips but your toes don't have toetips... and yet you can tiptoe but not tipfinger?
Why is no one ever the right amount of whelmed?